DYING IS NOT AN OPTION UPDATE – JULY 08
Sorry I left everyone hanging from my last BLOG entry with the entire Bartlett family in crisis . . . times, five. I sincerely apologize for my absence, but time got away from me this past few months.
First, our daughter Carol was breast cancer free. She had to endure an extra lumpectomy, and other invasive procedures to be sure, but it all worked out to be negative for a rerun of breast cancer in her good breast. A huge-huge scare for all of us.
Our oldest son, Ralph’s, test were negative for diabetes and heart problems following his fainting spell at work. I think the stress of us all just . . . did him in.
Our youngest son, Gary, took over the vanpool commuter after the driver passed out and crashed the van with all the work crew inside. The driver isn’t allowed to drive anymore, so Gary took the commercial drivers test, and is now the commuter – scooter guy. He picks up the rest of the people in his area, and they all commute together. I think it’s wonderful that his company provides a solution for the gas crisis by providing an alternate for commuting, rather that them all taking their big ol’ trucks to work. He’s an electrical lineman, (rough – tough . . . hard to cuff) and I would love to be a mouse in the corner of ‘that’ van for a day or so? Imagine the flowery poetry one could write. Hummmmm!
I went down to the Mayo on the 25th. of July and my blood work is still stable for fighting off infections. YEA!! My lymphoma and the lymphatic nodes, as well as my leukemia symptoms are progressing, so the doctor and I discussed the badddd word, CHEMO. It seems there’s a new pill that’ll be available in a couple of months that targets just the B-cell leukemia/lymphoma cells. The new pill has done quite well in clinical trials for lymphoma, and also has proven to have favorable results with B cell leukemia patients . . . (Those patients symptomatic with small lymphatic lymphoma.) The new pill will help shrink down the ever-increasing node levels, (presently containing the cancerous leukemia B cells within there system) and decrease the pressure and swollen nodes within my lymphatic system. My CHEMO cocktail will contain three types of therapy treatments, including the new pill. I may lose my hair, or it may thin, but Gary . . . our son . . . says he has always wanted to shave his head, so if I lose my hair, he’ll join me!!! Crazy guy!!!
On the philosophical side of things, I believe it’s important to always be in tune with our inner bodies, and when we do get a disease, (any disease) that inner awareness and fine-tuning increases in masterful levels. Since I’ve been diagnosed with leukemia, I can actually “feel” the growth levels within the lymphatic system, simply by tuning in to the leukemia cells. I actually feel the flow of the leukemia cells within my blood stream. When I get tired, the flowing stream of negative cells and their aggressive nature increases measurably. It’s kinda weird really. It’s almost like the cancer cells are looking for a way to multiply and take over my life. To win! Nasty little buggers!
As far as I’m concerned, I believe that’s everyone must try and tune in to their inner selves, disease free or not! Living a fast paced and toxic life in general weakens and wrecks our immune systems and we should try to remain vigilant and slow our pace to a healthy crawl. We have one chance around the clock of time, and we should try and make it as healthy as we possibly can. Keeping our bodies fine-tuned and toxin free is probably the biggest favor we can do ourselves in this life. The body is truly a temple and the wellness of our bodily machinery represents our time-line and potential on earth. It’s a gift and we must treat it as such.
Then, there’s the mind over body thingy . . . the wondrous, noble, destructive, and truly amazing mind of the human species. (The big chow-chow timekeeper of our entire bodily temples.) When we truly tune in to our minds, we hear the soft whispers of universal goodness, speaking to us of our earthly journeys and vast potentials. Some call it meditation. Some call it prayer. I call it tuning into the super-consciousness . . . the voice of the Universal Goodness of all mankind and it’s helpers.
Now to the home front and being busy and not getting rest, yadda yadda yadda. One of my excuses for being overly busy is that Dan and I moved to a new one-floor home the end of June. For all of you who have made a recent move. God Bless! It’s stressful! We threw away so many “things” that we have kept for . . . God knows why, or how long? Man, talk about pack rats! Why do we as humans accumulate so much stuff? Is it that we’re saving for that rainy day – a psychological syndrome, storing like squirrels, or . . . is it that we are putting away stuff, (just in case we might need it someday?) Don’t know, but we threw all the junk out and gave the good stuff away. Whew! It is kind of refreshing to make a new start and clean out closets (so to speak). Our son Gary came over in the midst of the move, and threw himself (literally) into the project. (We’d probably still be in the old place if it weren’t for him.) He cleaned, he cooked, and he bossed his dad around. It was great!
Our new home wasn’t done when the old one of thirteen years was cleaned and turned over to the owners, so, guess what? We moved into our RV. YES! That was such a joy!
Gary had returned home and he and Susanna wanted to visit Susanna’s dad in Vermont, so guess what? I offered to teen sit for ten days. I flew to Washington and had a blast with the Grandkids . . . leaving my poor husband behind to deal with the contractors about the various reasons the new place wasn’t finished yet! The teens were precious, bratty, mouthy, loveable, appreciative, and filled with a zest for life that only teens can have. It was soooo much fun! The two girls graduate next June from high school, and I am left wondering where all the time went. Triston is sixteen and is captain of his football team. He also works at a burger joint with his sister Jessica for the summer. Our redheaded, fiery, granddaughter Katala, works at a pizza place. I got to cheer her on during her finals for volleyball. She is the captain of her team also, and very fair and balanced. At home, it all goes out the window.
All three of them got their report cards while I was there. Katala was 4.0. Jess was close with a 3.9, and Tristan . . . wellll, he gets by!
Each one of them approached me about my leukemia, one at a time, and without the others knowing. Triston just blurted out one day. “Not fair Grams, this leukemia thing . . . you aren’t supposed to die.” Jessica wanted to know if I was going to be afraid to die, and big old tears plopped from her eyes as she talked about the dying process. Katala, informed me one day that I wasn’t going to die in her lifetime, period! (End of subject as far as she’s concerned.) Their little confrontations truly represented their personalities, and I was very pleased at their thoughtful and aggressive natures in approaching the subject. It spoke volumes about their love for their grandfather and me and their upbringing, and I will be forever touched by them and eternally grateful. We made a lot of fantastic memories together, and I’ll hold them in my heart & soul forever.
Before I left to return to Arizona, Tristan put his face on the front of my cell for me to see him every day and calls me to “check in” on his breaks from work. Katala and Jessica call me and vent their problems and girley gossip. It was such a wonderful trip; I think it was truly divine intervention. The RV wasn’t my cup of tea and Danny was sick of me and my complaining!!! I came back invigorated and ready to fix up the new place and make it home. It’s truly looking homey, with lots more ideas in the works. It’s been fun. ‘Til Next Time, Love, Jaye Bartlett