The Woman in the Mall
I was sitting in a large mall the other day, waiting for my name to be called so I could have my eyes checked by an optometrist. I was reading a magazine, and hadn’t noticed an older woman had sat down across from me. When I looked up from my reading, she was staring at me with infinite interest written into the creases of her lined face. She smiled at me with a twinkle in her gray blue eyes. “I love malls,” she stated softly, “so many beautiful humans beings, all in one place.” She then graciously got to her feet, and with just the slightest wave of her hand, walked briskly away from me, down the long hallway and out of sight.
Startled by her sudden departure, and with her soft-spoken words still dancing around within my mind, I actually began to look closely at the passing humans who so aptly captured her imagination.
My first sighting of interest was a teenager of uncertain age. She had beautiful brown hair, with a bright purple streak running down one side. I smiled at her and commented, “nice hair!”
She stopped in her tracks, faced me, and stated flatly, “You like?”
“Yep. I like,” I laughed. “Back when I was in high school, I got it in my head to dye my hair green for St. Patrick’s Day. Everyone thought I was nuts, but I enjoyed the statement. You hair reminded me of a time when I was a far different person than I am now. By the way,” I continued, “your purple streak is so much prettier than my green hair was. I like it a lot.”
“My mom hates it,” she confided. “She says I have such beautiful hair, that I’m ruining it with the purple gook.”
“I’ll tell you what,” I laughed, “someday your mom will look back and remember your purple phase with a great deal of humor. Enjoy purple while you can,” I added.
She strutted off as teenagers do, but I caught her looking back with a little smile on her face. We had shared a tiny rebellious streak in both our lives, and she was happy about it.
My next human of interest was a young woman with a newborn baby that appeared to be no older that a week or so. The infant was wailing, and the mother stopped at the bench, parked her stroller, and leaned down to try and soothe her crying child.
“How old is your baby?” I asked.
“She’s ten days old, she relayed. “She cries a lot. My mom says not to pick her up and spoil her, but she cries so hard, I worry. I know she’s not hungry, and she’s dry, so I guess she just wants attention.”
“Well,” I offered, “she’s been in the womb, protected in a cocoon for a long time. The world probably seems vast to her ears, and sooo scary. Maybe she does need to be held until she adjusts to the new energies of being in the world. Being in her mommy’s arms is probably a good thing for her right now. What do you think?” I asked.
The new mom leaned into the stroller, scooped up her precious bundle, held her close, and began assuring her that she was safe in the scary world. It was a little miracle. The child immediately stopped crying, snuggled into the protection of her mother’s arms, and sighed a deep relieved gurgle of contentment. “You don’t think it’s wrong to hold her all the time?” she asked.
“I’ve had three kids,” I responded. “They were all different, with different needs. I think as a new mom, you’ve got to follow your instincts. Your mom means well, but birth moms seem to have a pre-birth connection to their child. In nine months, you learned to recognize all the movements and habits of your baby. That’s all she’s asking for today. She wants you to intuitively remember that connection to her.”
“Thanks,” she breathed out, obviously relieved. “I do feel she’s scared and wants to be assured she’s safe.”
“You could buy one of those huggy-pack things that’s worn over your shoulders, with the snuggle pack in the front,” I suggested. “That way, she’ll feel like she’s connected to you all the time.”
“I will,” she laughed. “I’m going to go get one right now. Thanks so much for your advice,” she gushed out softly. Carrying her new baby in her arms and wheeling the bulky stroller, she u-turned and headed back into the mall area where baby stuff was sold.
Would her mom be angry with the lady in the mall with the cuddle advice for her daughter? Probably. Did I care? Not really!
My name was suddenly called for my appointment, and I realized time had passed in seconds. Within a short span, I had continued the positive attitude that the lady in the mall had passed on to me. All it had taken was a genuine interest in a fellow human, a smile, and a few kind words. Life isn’t really all that complicated, is it?